Farewell for Now
As I wrote in a previous email, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer last summer. That diagnosis sent me down a trail I’ve never travelled before: battling a potentially life-threatening illness.
Just before Thanksgiving I completed the 44 radiation treatments intended to kill my prostate cancer cells. I’m 8 months into an 18-month course of hormone therapy, periodic injections of a medicine that tells my body to stop producing testosterone. That lack of testosterone starves the prostate cancer cells that would normally feed off it. So far the treatment has progressed well and as expected. There have been side effects but Mary and I have coped. I hope we continue to do so. With this treatment, my doctor gives me a 70% chance of having no recurrence of cancer.
That’s the physical side of this journey. There’s also been a life-changing emotional side: I have not felt for many months emotionally up to writing and posting to Facebook or my Substack publications Love the Wild and Save the Wild.
It’s not that I’ve stopped writing; I write every day. But my focus has changed. Since I’ve once again come face-to-face with my mortality—as I did when I journaled and wrote what would become the heart of The Wilds of Aging—writing has again become journaling. I journal about what I find when researching topics related to prostate cancer’s treatment, side effects, and outcomes. I journal about the emotional roller coaster ride that began when I got the diagnosis on June 21, our 19th wedding anniversary. That ride shows no sign of ending; perhaps will never end.
While writing about these facts and feelings is essential for me, It’s not about loving the wild or saving the wild. It’s about loving my life, my family, my friends and saving my life. It’s about doing all I can to make my body strong enough and healthy enough to fight the cancer that left unchecked would steal my health and life.
I’ve thought often about posting to Substack but my heart and mind just aren’t there. I still love living in Gardiner and being surrounded by the wild. I may even treasure each trip into the wild more now. I’m still concerned about saving the wild, but I know that there are numerous committed organizations fighting the battle and I am not necessary.
So I have decided, after ten years, to stop my advocating for wildlife and wild lands. I’ve also decided that I will no longer post to Love the Wild or Save the Wild. I will leave the posts online for anyone who may want to read them.
Perhaps I will return someday to social media with postings about this journey into cancer. Or perhaps there's a book in this. I just don’t know yet what the future will bring. I’ll miss the connections with readers. But my energy, my focus, my writing, must be elsewhere.
So, farewell for now.
With my deepest thanks for your years of support,
Rick
So sorry to hear this news. I will be praying for your swift and complete recovery. You are an important voice in the fight to save our wildlife and we need you more now than ever. Continue your fight, rest up, take time for yourself and Mary and please consider getting back into the fight when you are better.
My best to you and Mary.
I have missed you, your writing, your photography, and you and Mary in my life. Advocacy takes focus, dedication, and lots of work. As my Major Depression looms over my being, I, too, find it difficult to concentrate and devote the time and energy, especially with the wolf issues in my home state of Colorado. I have backed off, but I swore I would never give up on trying to save wolves. I have not received the cancer diagnosis but know so many people that have. I can only imagine what it must be like and I understand your need to back off so you can take care of yourself and heal. Take care my friend and I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts.